Do you know what I mean when I refer to "hot buttons?" Can you recall a time when you felt triggered by what someone says to you? If only you could wave a magic wand and make that person stop, go back in time, and shut the (bleep) up!
But, controlling others is NEVER in your power. It is so tempting to resist and form a rebuttal, to cross our arms in self-defense, or to allow your red-hot retort to fly out of your mouth. And doing so will not bring you closer to your companion, or help you to feel better.
When it comes to controlling how others speak to us, we are powerless. What can happen though, is that you can heal your emotional wounds. In doing so, their words will no longer pack such a powerful punch that causes a red-hot reaction in you.
One of the super-powers I remind my coaching clients of is the Power of Pause. Taking a pause between stimulus (what they said) and response (your uncensored and emotional reaction) is your point of power. In that pause, you can take a breath, a sip of water, step aside, or turn away. This interruption in your automatic response will put you on the high road. You can tune in and discover why the other person's words hurt you so much. What wounds do you need to heal? There is an opportunity for your personal growth here. After pausing, and taking a moment to reflect, you are now empowered to RESPOND rather than react to this person. When you thoughtfully respond, you build connection. When you feel the urge to react, it is a gift to you so you can continue to grow and heal yourself.
If you had no Hot Buttons, you could respond with confidence and calm to everyone you encounter. The more you do this, the more wonderful each of your encounters will be. You will be a source of lightness and joy to others as you reach for your own personal North Star. You've got this!